Gin. Knitting. Monkeys. What more could you ask for?!

31 January 2006

Daily Dose of Cuteness

For all those that are saccharine intolerant, I apologize. But I was just so excited by this story on the local NBC website. I may have mentioned it before, one of my girlfriends does "big dog rescue" (mastiffs, bulldogs, etc.), and she provided this little puppers to be pallies with the orphaned cub. Why is it that baby *anything*s look so friggin cute? Even when you know they can rip your face off without any effort?

LOOK MA! I'm biting his BUTT!!!!

. . . I'm gonna gitya... IIIIIIIIIIIIII'm gonna gitya!!!

So cute they give the Insane Kitty Posse a run for their money.

27 January 2006

Drive By Posting

Not much to report - thank the gods its FRIDAY! Yay. I've been researching some of the alternatives to Blue Sky's alpaca/silk that's required for the Somewhat Cowl. While I theoretically agreed (in my head) to indulge a little and get *real* yarn for the project, it would end up costing at least $100. And I don't pay that kinda money for my clothes, no matter who makes it!

Knit Picks has a blend (but not the super luxurious 50/50 of BlueSky)with a little less yardage, but half the price, Elegance. But that would still be a bit pricey for my Target-on-Rodeo(that's "ro-dee-oh", not "ro-DAY-oh")-Walmart-on-Crenshaw lovin' arse.

Since I have a birfday coming up, I think I might take the time to shop around. Maybe my favorite lys will have something with a similar gauge, but not quite as pricey. Otherwise, I swear - I'm going back to Caron's Simply Soft. I like the stuff - it's got good colors, knits easy and wears well. Even if it *IS* 100% acrylic. {{shudder}}

On a good note, I finally figured out what to do with all that craptastic fun fur I was inexplicably drawn to several years ago - It's my co-worker (i.e., BF@W - Best Friend at Work)'s birfday. She's a creative knitter (i.e., no-one knows how she manages to get things done b/c she's so friggin flakey she never really learned how to knit "properly" but she's so damned creative she can put together yarn textures and colors in combinations that are truely gorgeous and unbelieveable that we're quick to forgive her), so she gets the joke, but not really b/c she's about as far from a yarn snob as one can possibly be. The really funny thing is that people without any fiber knowledge (which is most of the folks around her) think that its some fancy party material or hairy silly string. HAH.

Just so you understand, she's got a mirror at her desk (that I gave her YEARS ago) with the words "I LOVE ME" etched on it. She totally does. One day, I want to love myself just one iota of amount she loves her. But she deserves the love.

Here she is, being her. Enjoying all the attention. With her brand new Christian Dior (that's krischan deeyor to us WT folk) lip gloss. Miz Thang.

So, have a great weekend, and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! (Check out Ellen's blog if you're in the LA area (or even if ya aint).

Oh, and here's a little something to get your ovaries bursting (whether or not you have 'em).

25 January 2006

I Gotta New Pattern!!!!

Okay. I've been coveting this sweater

for EVER. Or at least, since it looked like this:


Of course, I'm not exactly an in-great-shape petite blonde, but I still hope it'll look cute on me.

Plus, it helps that it's top-down circular, since, like all most knitters I've ever heard discuss the subject, I HATE SEAMS. Actually, Wendy not only is a prolific knitter, but also happens to have one of the cutest little monkeygurls EVER.


Makes my ovaries hurt.

Anyway, she's constantly designing her own stuff and knitting with a speed I can only dream of. I've decided to enter this as my event in the knitting olympics. (I know, I'm a total sheep. But I proving I *can* join groups, as long as its relatively anonymous.) Since I started knitting, I've completed NOTHING for me. (well, save for a few scarves that are embarrassing but functional.) Nothing ever really called to me like this sweater does, so it will be a challenge not only in the actual knitting, but in the seemingly selfish endeavor, because I've also challenged myself to use some yarn other than LB, RH, or my new favorite, WalMart's own brand of acraplic yarn. (Actually, it's not bad to knit with and I'm currently working on a pair of convertible mittens for the wee Monkeygurl that she requested. Pink, natch.)

24 January 2006

He looka like a man

Miz Snow, from MadTV. gawd, I miss her.

Anyhoo. I checked out this site at my heritage dot com. Of course, being a former DC-ite, I'm frightened of any organization with the world "heritage" in it (see this). But I still thought it was interesting (although a bit scary) to check out their "facial recognition technology", wherein you upload a picture, and they match it to celebrities. Being the subversive I am, I knew I couldn't submit a picture of ME, so I uploaded a beautiful picture of the monkeygurrl (which I would *love* to share with you, but her father emailed to me as a bitmap, and for some reason, blogger won't accept it! THE NERVE!!!.)

Anyway, the first couple o' matches were okay -

A young Shirley Temple,

and a young Natalie Wood.

[Side note - one time a woman on an elevator told me I reminded her of a young Natalie Wood. I don't normally go that way, but I really wanted to kiss her. Hard.]

But then they came up with this:

John Howard




My most beautiful, gorgeous, wonderful babygurl looka like a MAN?!?!?!

Then they tried to make up by giving me my coworker, but it was too little, too late.

Okay, MyHeritage. You're no Sew Fast So Sleazy, but SCREW YOU.


20 January 2006


Got this link from Miss Kendra. Purty funny, I must say.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Monkeygurl!

  1. Carnivorous animals will not eat another animal that has been hit by monkeygurl.
  2. Ninety-six percent of all candles sold are purchased by monkeygurl.
  3. Ancient Greeks believed earthquakes were caused by monkeygurl fighting underground.
  4. If you kiss monkeygurl for one minute you will burn six or seven calories.
  5. You should always open monkeygurl at least an hour before drinking her!
  6. The first monkeygurl was made in 1853, and had no pedals.
  7. Monkeygurl has only one weakness - the colour yellow.
  8. In Chinese, the sound 'monkeygurl' means 'bite the wax tadpole'.
  9. The Aztec Indians of Mexico believed monkeygurl would protect them from physical harm, and so warriors used her to decorate their battle shields.
  10. Without monkeygurl, we would have to pollinate apple trees by hand!
I am interested in - do tell me about

18 January 2006


Proving once again the axiom that PEOPLE ARE STUPID (and supporting "Karma's a bitch!"), a New York organization ("SFSE") is attempting to trademark the phrase "stitch and bitch". Now, I'm relatively new to knitting, but it doesn't take a frickin brain surgeon to figger out that the phrase logically predates their 1997 coining of "stitch and bitch cafe". Knitters, sewers, quilters, basically any kind of crafter must have at one time thought, "Gee. I would just like to gather with like-minded others and do a little stitching. And since little Johnny's been such a handful these days, I wouldn't mind a little bitching, between us girls."

Baby. The first knitting book I purchased (and pretty much the incentive for me to really get into the craft was Stitch n Bitch, by Debbie Stoller. Granted, the book was published in 2003, but she's been using that phrase since (at least) 1996.

I understand this is a money-driven society, and everyone wants to stomp the heck outta everyone else, just to get a leg up. I don't like it, but I understand it. However, sending cease-and-desist letters to local groups of knitters who like to sit around and chat (and drink!) is beyond ridiculous. I don't care if SFSE sends me ten such letters. I am going to STITCH and I am going to BITCH. Nya-nya-na-nya-nyah!!!! I am going to boycott SFSE and all their products (not that I'd use them anyway b/c they're sew stupid), and support Free to Stitch.

Oh, and SFSE? In the immortal words of the knitting curmudgeon, (who I'm sure is pursuing a trademark as we speak),

13 January 2006

Happy Friday the 13th!

Still nothing terribly untoward. Of course, the day is only half over. . .

12 January 2006

Still Lost

I love Lost. Its a great show, with great character development and some pretty interesting plotlines. For an amusing recap of last nite's show, go visit Chase every Thursday morning. Even if you don't watch the show, go visit Chase. He's a hoot.

The one thing I don't like about Lost - it's the one show I can't knit while watching. There is just too much going on, and much of it very subtle and fleeting. If I don't knit at nite, I feel like I've left some major part of my evening routine undone. Uncomfortable feeling, that. Like when I forget to put my underwear on before my pants. So I knit like crazy during the commercials, and usually end up frogging everything the next day. Its a crazy process, but it works for me.

I've been working on some intarsia knitting that I've frogged four times already. Its for an ecksmas stocking that I was requested to make. It's kinda like this, but not. In any event, I have 14 (FOURTEEN!!!) dingle balls of colors going on. Didn't bother to wind them on bobbins, b/c, as we all know, I DON'T NEED NO STINKIN BOBBINS!, so I have baggies to try and keep them from unwinding. One of these days, I'm gonna learn me how to wind a center-pull ball, and that will show all y'all.

I feel kinda funky. I know we have the "long weekend" coming up, but it's preceded by Friday the 13th. How good of a weekend can we expect?! Somewhat inauspicious beginning. But, after the chaos of the holidaze, it'll be good to have some time to just chillllll....

09 January 2006

Apropos of Nothing

Interesting story in the AP today. This poor little beastie was borned, but didn't last very long. Too bad. It's awfully cute (in a creepy kinda way), and can you imagine all the bad jokes that could be made at its expense?!

For the full story, go here.

06 January 2006

I wish. . .

I wish I was rich. Pathetically, hopelessly, beyond all imagining rich. Not because I'd want lots of fahncee designer togs. Not because I especially like all the mansions I've seen. Not because I want to be written about in NYT's Page 6. I'm not greedy, I just want to be rich.

I've been driving the Monkey to her school every morning before work, and picking her up every evening. She has "winter camp" (which is a glorified day care), and there is no school bus. It's tiring, because her school's in Bel Air

and I live in

da 'hood.

In between, I go to work in Century City, which is nice, but is full of dipshit blowhards that consider themselves the premier movers-and-shakers of this fair city.

With all this driving (which I admit does not even compare to the daily commute most people have, but this is all on surface streets, people), there is only one phenomenon that continues to baffle me. I know getting stuck behind a roach coach going up Sunset is going to take a while. I know traffic going into and coming out of the canyon roads is going to be backed up. I even expect people to drift in and out of the curvy lanes due to inattention or poor driving skills. The one thing I just can NOT wrap my head around is the proclivity of rich folk to stop on a whim. Not for cross traffic, not for emergency vehicles, and certainly not for traffic signals. Just for some unknown reason that catches their fancy. There they are, the denizens of the hills, in their mercedes and beemers and hummers and even, this morning, their rolls's. Plunk. In the middle of a major thoroughfare. And then, when they decide they have blocked the road to their satisfaction, they meander along, as if they had done no wrong. Tra-la-la-lah. I wanna be rich like that. Where I don't care who gets injured or delayed or inconvenienced. Where if someone dares to hit my car, I rest assured my lawyer will take care of them. Where I don't even register the honks and epithets hurled in my direction. That's how rich I want to be.

04 January 2006

Mememememem, v. 2.0

Yahoo! Avatars

JenLa is/are waging an avatar war. Here's my submission for the cause. I had way too much fun with this - it's almost as good as frog in a blender or any Joe Cartoon. :)

Oh, and in case you're wondering, here's a pretty thorough definition on what an "avatar" is . . . Methinks JenLa (and Yahoo) have managed to bastardize that ideal.

03 January 2006


Two Names You Go by

1. W-P

2. Monkey's momma

Two Parts of Your Heritage

1. Caucasian

2. “Other”

Two Things That Scare You

1. Anything bad happening to my leetle MonkeyGurl

2. Idiots and Assholes

Two Everyday Essentials

1. Telling the Monkey how much I love her.

2. Knitting.

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now.

1. Big ol’ sketchers boots

2. Brand new “motherhood” necklace (Okay, that's not as pathetic as it sounds. Its actually a nice design. See?!)

Two of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists (*Right* now – subject to change in the next 5 minutes)

1. She Wants Revenge

2. System of a Down

Two Things You Want in a Relationship:

1. Trust

2. Space

Two Truths

1. People are stupid.

2. Karma’s a bitch, but it always comes back around.

Two things You hate:

1. Cruelty to kids or animals.

2. Abject stupidity.

Two Physical Things that Appeal to You

1. Any part of the MonkeyGurl.

2. The geisha tattoo
(soon to be part of a new clothing line - "Hot Mama Ink")

Two of Your Favorite Hobbies

1. Knitting

2. Reading (about knitting. . .)

Two Things You Want Really Badly

1. A new bike (with a clutch that's easy on the carpel tunnel. . .)

2. To not *have* to work for a living.

Two Places You Want to go on Vacation

1. Salzburg

2. Back to Italy.

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die

1. Make sure MonkeyGurl has a college fund

2. Be certain MonkeyGurl can take care of herself.

Two people I would like to see take this quiz

1. Robertson Davies (but he's dead)

2. Crazy Aunt Purl or the lovely Miss Kendra (if I have to explain, you wouldn't get it anyway.)

What's gnu with you?

Saw an interesting movie this weekend. While the lunatics went off to see Narnia, an overwhelming need to decompress caused me to stay home and watch the lady and the duke. Never mind that its in French (subtitles) and the dialogue is artificial and stodgy. Never mind that I was knitting at the time and may have missed key elements of the story - the segues, which consisted of almost comical, pre-talkie type text would jump anywhere between 3 months and several years. Never mind that most of the characters were indistinguishable and interchangeable. I still really liked the film and find myself re-analyzing it. I don't know why; it is basically an abysmal film. Maybe its just a french thing.

So. Happy New Year. For our new year's pleasure, we were visited by half of the San Diego clan (2 adults, 2 pre-teen girls and 1 hyper pit). In our 2 br crappy little apartment. Nice. Oh, and b/c of the "storm"? No hot water on NYE. And no electricity for several hours yesterday. Gotta love LA DWP.

I finished the cap to go with Olivia's Haiku sweater. They are both silly and fun. Hopefully, I'll have pictures soon.

2006 is supposed to be a good year - I was really feeling it Saturday nite. But I kinda lost that hopeful feeling coming back to work this morning. Nothing like a good dose of reality to send you careening back down to earth.