Gin. Knitting. Monkeys. What more could you ask for?!

28 April 2006

I missed SnB for THIS?!

Oh, I do hate when I miss the congenial gathering of like-minded knitters at the Farmers Market on 3rd. Mostly because I've never known such a bigger group of co-dependent enablers with a sick sense of humor. Also because of the cute bartender at the bar downstairs.

But alas and alack, parental duties superseded (doesn't happen often so. . .) I had to go to the wee Monkeygurrl's "Open House". [unrelated note, can ritz crackers go bad? I just had a bite of one and it tasted distinctively. . . vegetative.] For the most part, it had too many kids, too many parents, too many pleas for too much money. And it was not very entertaining.

But there was this.

Supa scary chick. She wore (over otherwise unremarkable, NORMAL clothing) a sort of ponchette, with attached superthick cowl/turtleneck and GAUNTLETS. It was all very chain mail-y, which normally I would have liked, but done in yarn? Ohhhhhhhhhkaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy. [my apologies to Miss K and her unparalleled MS Paint expertise. This was my first and possibly, final attempt. Too back I couldn't get a real picture of her!!!]

But I got a great shot of the wee Monkeygurrl and her snaggletooth. Not nearly as cute as Royboy, but still, kinda cute.

For a monkey.

(that tooth is *so* coming out this weekend!)

26 April 2006


Dirty little secret no. 52,367: I watch AI. I try every season not to get sucked in, but the auditions are just too damned funny. And there is sometimes(if I'm lucky) one person in the audition process that catches my eye.

Witness: CHRIS. Uh, YUM.

I love Chris. I've loved him since he first swaggered onto that tiny little stage with his straw cowboy hat and worn-in blue jeans. I love the way he gives himself over completely and totally to the passion of his music. I love the way he shoots me that fleeting smile and the dimple in his right cheek deepens. I love the way his gravelly voice makes me tingle in all my secret places.

Now, I don't love him in the "Gee, he's a great singer. I hope he makes it to Hollywood" kinda way. Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo, sir. I love him in the "DAMN. I'd do any sort of nasty, naughty thing that man ever dreamed about" sort of way. In the "I know he's in love with his wife and a proud father, but I can't help melting into a simmering puddle of goo when he walks on the stage" kinda way. In the "I'd like to give that bal' head a special kind of shine" sort of way.

A friend of mine just got a job at a law firm. She was talking with the office manager when they saw him in the lobby. As she was telling me about it, I asked, "Did you tell him how much I love him?" "But, D., he had just walked in and I don't even work there yet!" "BUT DID YOU TELL HIM HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM?!?!?!"

Taylor Hicks - I've always loved you and your quirky cool ways. You looked more like Clooney and less like Leno last nite.

Paris, you are so frickin adorable and talented. You really deserve to win.

Bucky, I couldn't help but love you, even tho I'm not a big fan of the country music. I miss you.

But Chris. I'd ravage you nine ways to Sunday and go back for more.

25 April 2006

one of these things

Is not like the others.
One of these things just doesn't belong.
Can you tell which thing is not like the others
By the time I finish my song?

Three of these things belong together
Three of these things are kind of the same
Can you guess which one of these doesn't belong here?
Now it's time to play our game.

Three of these kids belong together
Three of these kids are kind of the same
But one of these kids is doing his own thing
Now it's time to play our game

Bucket, chillin wid hiz homeez.

Did you guess which thing was not like the others?
Did you guess which thing just doesn't belong?
If you guessed this one is not like the others,
Then you're absolutely...right!

It's A Good Thing I Don't Have Money

Among other places, I would so totally spend it all here. I'm getting all hot & bothered just looking at the brochure.

24 April 2006


Is up and running. Go check out the hot mamas here. Tell all your friends. Woo-Hoo!!!

23 April 2006

My Special Friend

You came into my room last night
Through the window I'd left open.

You covered me with your presence -
strong, insouciant and kind.

You told me of the distant lands you've been
The roles you've played, the horrors you've seen.

You showed me your scars
And asked to see mine.

You covered me with kisses
light and then, insistent

You opened my mind and
You filled me with yours

You moved with the distant drumbeat
You took me with you

Your sweat dropped down on me
Quenching my thirst

You took me to equilibrium
I didn't want to move

You smiled at me
that childish grin, those soulful eyes

But in an instant, it was gone.
And with the light of dawn, you disappeared.

I sighed and smiled.

20 April 2006



If you were trying to take Fairfax last nite, I have to apologize. Apparently, my colleagues at Crack House Row decided to have a party.

For those not familiar with the area, Fairfax is a major thoroughway from the 10 freeway to points north, such as the Farmers Market, Canters Deli, Sunset Strip, etc. And it's a challenge on most days (inexplicably varying between one and two lanes in either direction). It's a great road to take when you're NOT in a hurry, and want to window shop, admire the great Ethiopian restaurants, see what's new at the LACMA, etc. Well, last nite it was impassible. Traffic was blocked north of Pico and south of Pickford, putting us smack dab in the center of the police perimeter.

Like the true loser I am, OF COURSE I had to check it out from the roof of our apartment building.

It was kinda cool, being up there with the airship, seeing all the cruisers sectioning off our neighborhood. [Ed. disclosure: I was once on the list to become an LAPD officer. I passed the written and physical tests, got 105% on the verbal (didn't even know that was possible!!) and was very excited at the prospect, but I think they dissed me b/c I'm, well, nuts. This was right around the time of the Rampart scandal, so I guess I maybe wasn't such a good candidate.]

At least it was purty.

I could see my office building!! HI, OFFICE BUILDING.

It didn't take long for a crowd to form out in the street. I swear, the only time we really talk to our neighbors is when we're on lockdown or have a power outtage. It takes the weirdest things to get us out of our cocoons. No one knew what the trouble was, but we could tell the po-po were focused on one building in particular.

Being complete LOOOOOOZER that I am, I got right up in their bidnez. Taking pictures. Sorry for the (lack of) quality, but y'know, LAPD isn't real thrilled with people taking their pictures while they're working. Go figger. So once it began to get dark, I didn't take pictures so much. That flash is bright, and I'd hate for one of the officers to think it was a muzzle blast. . .

But I did have to document the idiocy of LA drivers. HELLOOOOOO!!!! You are travelling northbound, when a major artery is blocked, you're diverted west, and you take the FIRST NORTHBOUND SIDESTREET YOU CAN FIND?! Especially one that is COVERED with brake lights and lookie-loos (like me)?!?!?! Okay, even if you're one to do that, when you see the people on the street telling the drivers to slow down and turn around b/c the road is BARRICADED, do you still go waaaay too fast on the waaaaay crowded street, while talking on your cellphone? And then, when traffic gets backed up, you honk your horn? If you do, I'm sorry. I can't love you.

[Another Ed. Note: I got my undergrad degree in psychology. This would have made for a lovely paper.]

Although, I had to admit - there was one woman who impressed me. Despite being one of the aforementioned idiots, when she had turned around and was heading back down the street, she made a comment to me and 2 of my neighbors (who are both big, male and unsavory looking), about how she's just trying to get home, and why we shouldn't be getting so much amusement at their expense. With her little girl voice and her doll-like features, I almost felt compelled to respond, but my neighbor (who is a much more patient man than I could ever be), explained to her. He was going to tell her the easiest way to get to where she was going, but she sped off without listening.

After two hours, the canine unit and SWATcifers came out with one kid in cuffs. I think they were still doing a door-to-door, but it was past the wee Monkegurl's bed time, and I'd neglected her enough.

Of course, we still have no idea what the whole thing was about. At a minimum, five T-Rex's died to fuel the heliocopter, and countless man hours were used with the perimeter and the search, but did we even get a mention of it on the news?!

No sir. It's commonplace for Crack House Row, and I was the only one there with a camera.

19 April 2006


Denim Day in LA is today, and we were able to get permission to wear jeans to work. For a minimum donation of $5.00, my colleagues and I not only got to work in comfort and style, but also help support an organization that seeks to raise awareness and (hopefully) reduce the number of sexual assaults.

I'm happy to report that through either a genuine concern for women or just the privilege of wearing blue jeans (we don't usually get to wear them, even on casual fridays), I've raised $160 for the cause (and the dollahz keep rollin in!)

For further information on the on-going efforts of the Los Angeles Commission on Assaults Against Women, please go to here. You can make a donation on line, or send in a check, and make a political statement with your fashion statement.

About Denim Day


Rome – Italy, 1997
A 17-year old girl was picked up by her 56-year old instructor for her very first driving lesson. An hour later, raped and abandoned by him in alley, she made her way back home. Undeterred, she prosecuted him and won. The driving instructor is convicted of rape and sentenced to jail.

Months later - 1998
The perpetrator appealed the sentence. The case made its way to the Italian Supreme Court. Within a matter of days, the case against the driving instructor is overturned, dismissed, and the perpetrator was released.

Why Denim?
In a statement released by the Head Judge, he argued, “because the victim wore very, very tight jeans, she had to help him remove them….and by removing the jeans…it was no longer rape but consensual sex.” Enraged by the verdict, within a matter of hours the women in the Italian Parliament launched into immediate action and protested by wearing jeans to work. This call to action motivated and emboldened the California Senate and Assembly to do the same, which in turn spread to Patricia Giggans, Executive Director of the Los Angeles Commission on Assaults Against Women, and Denim Day in L.A. was born.

Every year since LACAAW has organized Denim Day in L.A., a rape prevention education campaign, asking community members, elected officials, businesses and students to make a social statement with their fashion statement and wear jeans as a visible means of protest against myths that surround sexual assault. In previous years, Denim Day in L.A. has had over 55,000 participants throughout Los Angeles County.

17 April 2006

Hello Kitty Happy Bunny


Remember me? I used to live here.

Actually, things are *still* crazy as all get-out. I'm trying to keep my head above water at work, but it doesn't help that everyone here seems to be going out on crazyleave. Damn my catholic upbringing. I just can't bring myself to do the same.

On a knitting note, I did finish some items since my last post. The favorite by far is my Hello Kitty Happy Bunny. It started off here, but that was so ding-danged TINY I couldn't stand it. So, of course, I completely disregarded the directions and went off on my own. No wonder I'm always getting lost.

Anyway, I decided that what makes a toy particularly cute is a big, fat head. So I have her one. And I really like the ears from Kate, so I gave her a pair of those. And everyone's wearing shrugs these days, so why not HKHB?! The finished object reminded me of Happy Bunny, a deliciously subversive piece of pop art, and hence her name.

However, she was gifted to the Wee MonkeyGurrl, who promptly christened her "Bunny", which I suppose is more simple. Said Wee MonkeyGurrl was thrilled beyond words to finally get a finished item that was intended specifically for her from her pathetically lacking mom, and took to Bunny immediately. Already Bunny is showing signs of best-loved-toy-status, so I guess maybe I should make her something more often? Hmmmmmm.

Bunny Front With Monkey Pals

Bunny Butt With Monkey Pals

A Really Happy Monkey With Bunny Pal!!!

03 April 2006

They're Still Being Mean!!!

Someone needs to call in an anthrax threat. KIDDING. Sheesh. They're still making me work for a living, so I haven't had a chance to see what everyone is up to. :( But I thought I'd share a little something to keep you occupied. Miss Kendra, particularly, courtesy of a special friend, this one's for you.