Gin. Knitting. Monkeys. What more could you ask for?!

30 March 2006

Steeeeeyoooopid FatCat LawFirm

Making me work and stuff. I haven't had a minute to blog, and about 5 minutes in the last 4 days to surf (Hi Kendra! Hi Pants! Hi Ellen!), and I feel like I'm way out of touch in the blogosphere. Hopefully, several of my FatCats will be out of the office tomorrow and I'll have an opportunity to catch up.

24 March 2006

We Ho, We Ho. It's off to knit we go.

So, I went to the WeHo ("West Hollywood") SnB (STITCH AND BITCH) last nite. It was quite a turnout. I find it infinitely amusing that even tho my friends mock me for knitting (something they consider an "old women's" hobby), I am one of the oldest ones there. Of course, there are always fun conversations going on, and I have to admit, I bitch more than I stitch. I guess since its the only social interaction I have outside of work, and I'm starting to feel comfortable with this bunch, I really take advantage of it. And the cider from the cute bartender doesn't hurt, either.

Of course, it also helps that I'm getting to know a lot of these women through their blog/websites. As a matter of fact, last nite, I got to see the barbeque wrap up close and personal!!
See?! I don't just make this shit up. Also making its debut was the pimento loaf. You just have to see it to understand.

In attendance were the ever-present Miss Kendra, the eternally amusing Ellen Bloom, sweet and unassuming Uccellina, model extraordinaire, Briana, "Yes, I really DO have a real job!", Faith, and All The Way From Encino, Sachi!. Plus a few others who's blogs I can't recall right now, or are {gasp!} un-techno-savvy, or just plain aren't exhibitionists like we all are. Right guys?!

Anyhoo, the mood was light, the conversation jumping and the crowd oh so diverse. I had a great time, and I think I may be making this a regular thing.

22 March 2006

For my next birfday,

I want me one of these.

PocketPigs. I can just see me with, like, three. More info here.

This is just sad.

He survived the impact, but was too badly wounded to survive, so they put him down. It reminds me of the doped-up chick that let a transient die in her windshield, only more humane.

ed. note: That is indeed a moose. On the loose. In Massachooooooosetts. More info here.

Blasted Blogger!

Okay, just for the record, BLOGGER SUCKS. I can't load any pictures, and it's being very temperamental when deciding whether to let me post at all.

20 March 2006

We Interrupt This Knitting Project. . .

For yet another knitting project!!! No, really.

Remember my Olympic Sweater? Only one sleeve and a collar to go? The one I was ACTUALLY GOING TO COMPLETE, without any interruptions from ANY other projects?! Wellllllllllllllll.... Since the Olympics were over, and this was an important interruption, I cast the sweater aside. "JUST FOR THIS PROJECT". (heh. famous last words.)

My girlfriend, who was the enthusiastic recipient of a baby set (blanket, hat, sweater), invited me to her daughter's 1st birthday party. Well, since she has been *so* supportive and encouraging of my knitting, I couldn't NOT make Baby E a birthday present, right?

So. For two weeks (from the time I found out about the party to the morning of the party) I worked diligently on my not-project project. I decided to make an "adapted" Kate from Knitty, a "modified" Basil, from the Knitting Fiend, and an "altered" Bear (who actually turned out to be Blue Man in Pink Sweater.

This was my first foray into knitting toys, and I think I'm totally and completely infatuated. They were so much fun. They made me laugh when I looked at 'em, even 'tho I wasn't happy with my mad knitting skillz in the construction. Maybe if I set more realistic deadlines in the future (yeah, like THAT's gonna happen!), I'll be more pleased with the outcome. However, Baby E's momma came up to me first thing this morning and effused about how thrilled she was with the pressies. I won't bore you with all the enthusiastic compliments, but she actually convinced me she was sincere.

As always, sorry for the crappy pix, but the Jman is just too busy picking his nose to take pictures for me, so I have to rely on my cell phone.

19 March 2006

Oy Vey - Marathon Sunday

The wee Monkeygurl has a softball game today at 1pm. Unfortunately, we are surrounded by this. Using far-too-narrow sidestreets, I was able to make it to within a 1/2 mile of the park, but that meant Jaggers and I couldn't go watch the game. :( I was very saddened to watch the wee Monkeygurl on her scooter and the Jman hoofin' it across the phlanx of runners. Jaggers likes the games - when I get all excited and yell, she barks her Big Dawg Bark and encourages the wee Monkey.

But its probably just as well. Said wee Monkeygurl woke mama Monkey up at EIGHT IN THE A.M. this morning. She is obviously suicidal. So I made her do homework (muwahahahahaha!!!) Mama Monkey can be evil, too. And now, I find myself all showered and dressed with *literally* nowhere to go. Which means, gin and knitting are my best friends - after I check all the updates on all the blogs that I usually don't get to until Monday morning. And I guess I can't get too schnockered, b/c someone has to pick up the StudMonkey after her win (they don't keep score - so she by default wins every game). Hopefully, I'll at least be able to drive to the field when I go back. . . because nobody walks in LA.

17 March 2006

Thank Dog Its Friday!

To all you dyslexic theologian disco fans.

15 March 2006

Whattar YOU lookin at, SUCKA?!

Baby Steven, modeling the latest in kickass wear. He's only 3.5 years old, but I wouldn't mess with him.

14 March 2006

Holy Crappola

I don't know how I did it. Of course, they don't tell you which questions you miss. But still. I'm impressed by me. I thought I was completely brain dead.

You Passed 8th Grade Science

Congratulations, you got 6/8 correct!

13 March 2006

Another Happy Customer

Baby Olivia, and her dawgpaw hat. :)

(The hat was knit in the round, with the dawg paw pattern done with purl stitches. Considering her mom does Operation K9 Rescue, we all have "rescued" pups, and we refer to our little group as "the dawg paw crowd" b/c @ one party, we all got dog paw tattoos, it is particularly appropriate.)

10 March 2006

Good People, Swell Dresses

Just when I am ready to give up on society (because, let's face it, most people are stupid and mean), people surprise me.

The email I received about putting on a prom for Katrina Kids really touched me. I had my few dresses, but thought I could do more. So I passed it along to some of the staff at FatCatLawFirm. Note, while we are probably on the higher end of the salary scale, its not like we are attorneys. None of us has full time nannies or housekeepers or truly extravagant automobiles. But clearly, we do have the giving gene.

Most people I spoke with told me how much they loved their soon-to-be-discarded items. They were associated with special memories or were purchased for an amount that seemed overwhelming at the time. Amortized over the years they were kept in the back closet, they still were a sizable investment. But still, when learning of the plans of Miracles, they brought them in the next day. Like me, they wanted to do something that would mean a lot, and I think they've achieved that.

I am impressed, humbled, and proud of my co-workers.

And the wee MonkeyGurl likes 'em too.

08 March 2006

Is it Wangsday Already?!

Oh. My. Dog. It has been a helluva week. I haven't had the opportunity to blogsurf and post like I want to. In the little I *have* been able to read, it looks like this is a common problem. But I have lots I want to tell you about - pretty much the reason why I'm still recovering from the weekend.

On Saturday, we did the photo shoot for Hot Mama. I hope to have some pictures for you soon. But let me first warn you - I am truly and invariably horrible in pictures. I'm not all that great in real life, but the camera seems to capture a side of me that I really don't want to see. This is *NOT* an obvious plea for assurances to the contrary, so please don't waste your time commenting on that. But feel free to COMMENT ALL YOU LIKE. BECAUSE I LIKEE THE COMMENTS!!!!

Then, the wee MonkeyGurl got ill. My poor child was shootin' projectile chunks at everyone in the vicinity late Saturday nite. Not pretty. But the funniest thing about it was the Jman (yes, the same one that FAINTED when I got my epidural) - he was *literally* gagging and coughing when asked to assist in the clean-up. Can you say "WUSS"?!?!?! Yes, I know you can. But say it anyway, just to make me happy.

Of course, after presenting me with the opportunity to do laundry at midnight, and nearly incapacitating her father, said wee MonkeyGurl slept like the proverbial baby. And felt well enough to play in her softball game on Sunday. I swear, there is nothing more endearing than watching otherwise graceful and clever little girlies scramble like puppies for a ball that continues to elude them. Their feet are too big and their uniforms are too floppy and one of these days, I'm going to dig out the ol' videocam so I can win $10,000 on AFV.

To celebrate, in his wisdom, dear babydaddy bought the wee MonkeyGurl a cheeseburger and curly fries, which, of course, revisited me early Monday morning.


But two days home from school and the wee one is biting at the bit to be back in action (how's that for some fancy alliteration?!). She went to school this a.m. (complete with make-shift barf bag, just in case) and I haven't gotten a call from the office, so I imagine she's doing well. YAY MONKEYGURL!!!!

Tonite is Lost, tomorrow is WeHo SnB - which I'm hoping to make because I have at least 3 gowns to contribute (see below). And as requested, they are of the more "ample" variety. Because, obviously, they were bought to contain me (but just barely!) If you have anything, please consider contributing. I know it will be much appreciated.

Lori wrote:

Hi all,

The Miracles of Hope Network is collecting prom gowns, shoes, and
evening bags to send to high school students who lost everything in
Hurricane Katrina. The Miracles of Hope Network is sponsoring an
entire prom for one New Orleans high school including the prom space,
band etc. and they are trying to get swanky dresses and tuxes for the

Since we crafters love to hang on to pretty things, we all probably
have at least one glitzy dress that either doesn't fit or we have no
place to wear it but it's just too pretty to part with. Now's the
perfect time to donate those dresses and purses and shoes and make
someone's senior prom memorable for all the right reasons in a year
that has been memorable for so many wrong reasons. And you'll have
room to store more yarn!

There will be a collection box at the Thursday night WeHo SnB
meeting at 3rd and Fairfax, 7-9pm. Dresses/shoes/purses will be
collected until mid-April and then shipped off. If you can't make it
to the Thursday night meetings, items can be shipped directly to:

Denise Marhoefer
Miracles of Hope Network
12064 Ulrich Road
Losantville IN 47354

For more info, check out the Miracles of Hope webpage at:

Thanks for helping with this effort!

Message: 8

Something to add to this that we don't always think about....

They NEED large sizes....the bigger the better (size 16 to size 28) Plus size dresses are especially hard to come by for these charity drives and are often the first to go. Especially in Louisana which has a substantial african american population.

Add to that they need LARGE SHOES (size 9, 10, 11 and 12). *lol* I donate my old stuff to working wardrobes and their Cinderella Project usually because I'm a hefty henrietta that has canoe feet and I know the need.

03 March 2006

Knitters are Enablers In the Worst Way

True story: I forwarded a newsletter from a local yarn shop ( to two women in my office that (1) I know knit; (b) I know are yarn snobs; and (iii) one of which I'm not particularly close with/to. Basically, the only reason why we have ever even had a conversation is because she heard that I knit. She's a REAL knitter - has been doing it forever, never uses anything above US2's, does amazing work, yadda, yadda. Normally I'd be intimidated by her (if I met her at a yarn store or SnB), but because I've been at FatCatLawFirm for EVER and she's only been here half that, I feel some comfort in discussing knitting stuff with her. Plus, even though I've only been knitting for a couple of years, I've done enough research and blog reading to be able to talk a good game. :) I'm good with the bluster.

Anyway, here is an excerpt of our latest email exchange:

From: Me
Sent: Friday, March 03, 2006 4:01 PM
To: JN, KE
Subject: FW: News -- Blog Update & More

Go straight to

They are having some amazing closeout sales on noro, SWTC, etc.
[NOTE: I drop the brand names with lowercase and acronyms, like I've EVER EVEN used them before!]

From: KE
Sent: Friday, March 03, 2006 4:04 PM
To: ME, JN
Subject: RE: News -- Blog Update & More

Isn't this the place that Ruth from Six Feet Under went to knit?

From: ME
Sent: Friday, March 03, 2006 4:07 PM
To: KE
Subject: RE: News -- Blog Update & More

:) I think so, but I'm not sure. BUT, I was there a couple of weeks ago to pick up some optimum dk - GORGEOUS. [AGAIN, the lowercase. Is this for effect? Do I really sound more learned if I don't use proper diction/grammer/punctuation??] For $5/ea. Cheaper than redheart (almost). I figure this is the fastest way I'll become a yarn snob. . .

From: KE
Sent: Friday, March 03, 2006 4:11 PM
To: ME
Subject: RE: News -- Blog Update & More

What are you going to make with the optimum dk?
[She's doing the same thing; in the animal world, I think that shows that they are considered equals when mimicking behavior occurs! She thinks we are equals when it comes to yarn. Yay. I got some validation!]

From: ME
Sent: Friday, March 03, 2006 4:17 PM
To: KE
Subject: RE: News -- Blog Update & More

:) I haven't decided! I figured I got enough of each to either make one thing with each color, or make a bunch of little things using different colors. I kinda want to start with the stuffed toy craze. Something cute and funky and anime-esque. And maybe baby stuff, although that's not terribly practical. I dunno. I just like having "fahncee" yarn in my stash!

From: KE
Sent: Friday, March 03, 2006 4:21 PM
To: ME
Subject: RE: News -- Blog Update & More

"I just like having "fahncee" yarn in my stash!" Yup, once you knit with the good stuff, it's hard to go back - ;-)
[AHHHH!!! SHE QUOTED ME!!!! BACK TO ME!!! The *ULTIMATE* demonstration of acceptance in email form!!!]

From: ME
Sent: Friday, March 03, 2006 4:24 PM
To: KE
Subject: RE: News -- Blog Update & More

:) It really is. I'm thinking about packing up all the stuff I (deep down) know I'm not gonna use and donate it to one of the many charity groups - like the one that teaches kids to knit/crochet, or Stitches.

From: KE
Sent: Friday, March 03, 2006 4:25 PM
To: ME
Subject: RE: News -- Blog Update & More

That's a great idea ... have a great weekend!

Ahhh, success. I feel like I've arrived!

So on that note, HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!!

02 March 2006

I mean, how do they KNOW?!?!?!?!

Your Monster Profile

Insane Darkness

You Feast On: Bananas

You Lurk Around In: Movie Theaters

You Especially Like to Torment: Republicans

Whooda Thunkit?!

You Are 80% Evil

You are very evil. And you're too evil to care.
Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot.