Monkeys are the new Kitties

Or so I've been told by the cognesceti, literati and fashionistas. Hey, all I know is I LIKE MONKEYZ!!!!!

Oh, my gawrsh. I am SO glad this weekend is over. Granted, I did not have to deal with a difficult break up or withstand a holiday car crash, but BOYEEEEEEEE, with the driving that I did (in both amount and quality), I think it is sheer karma that kept me from doing so.

In a vain attempt to complete holiday tasks, we decided at the last minute to spend Friday nite at home. I thought I would get all my knitting projects finished, wrap the rest of the gifts, and get some good sleep that I'd been lacking from the crazy week. "HAH-HAH" said the gods of anti-procrastination. "We'll show you!!!" I was *so* exhausted, I went upstairs for a "quick nap" before tackling the left over projects. When I woke up at 8:00 THE NEXT MORNING, I realized this wouldn't be the case. The Jman should have known better and woken me up; the Monkey most often doesn't know better and wakes me up, but this one time, the two colluded in making my life more manic. So, to wrapping I go!!!

THREE HOURS LATER, I have just enough time to shower, pack, and hit the road. OHMYGAWD. I hate when the holiday travelers come out. They don't know how to drive. They don't know where they are going. And there are so gdamned many of them!!! What should have been two hours was three, and with a whooooooooooole lot more aggravation than was really necessary. 140 miles to "Paradise Hills", a/k/a, southeast San Diego, where we had a lovely visit with one of my best friends and her hubband. And vigorously sampled her made-from-scratch, puerto rican recipe, rum-based egg nog (heavy on the nog!!!)

Then, after ingeniously waiting for the sun to set, we went 45 miles UP A FRIGGIN MOUNTAIN to lovely downtown Ramona. This is horse (and llama!) country, folks. Not that I have anything against the critters, but street lights?! Good luck! We had about 5 miles of rutted dirt road to get up to the in-laws. . .

We had committed to spending the night, which I didn't really mind because we pretty much get along, but that was before I realized their new house has no interior doors! Want some privacy?! Forget it! Having IBS symptoms? Share it with the fam-bam!!! Wanna take a shower? Well, okay, but we don't recommend it because we get our water from a well and its in short supply!!! Not to mention there was drywall to be hung, tiles to be laid, and pipes to be connected. Again, I'm all for doing-it-yourself, but after 4 years, there comes a time when you have to suck it up and call in a contractor. Really. That time has passed.

And then the food. Lovely, really. Turkey AND ham AND sweet potatoes (with marshmallows!), green-bean casserole (!!!), boiled, sad, lifeless broccoli, asparagus and brussel sprouts ("Michael loves his green veggies" - BABY, those veggies have no green left!)!!! Thankfully, there was plain, steamed white rice. At least I got to rest my bowels a bit.

After about 3 hours (total) sleep, 40 miles BACK DOWN THE MOUNTAIN to yet another holiday gathering. More turkey, more stuffing, more sweet potatoes (with marshmallows!!), "ambrosia" salad (more marshmallows!!) and yes, the ever-present green bean cassarole. Oy.

Then, WESTWARD we went. Thankfully, this was at Casa de Levey, so I didn't have to be on my best behavior. And this time, we celebrated the birth of the lord with the customary matzo brei with some brisket, slaw and rye bread. Oh, and don't forget the pickles!!!! Unfortunately, since my usual suite was being occupied by a far more important guest (okay, so he's Douggles' bro, but STILL!), I got to sleep on the floor with the dogs. Lovely.

Up early in the a.m. (for me, anyway), and off to .Rancho Santa Fe. I don't know if you know, but the sun *always* shines in RSF - where the median home price is at least $2M. Except for yesterday, when we were traversing the serpentine roads to Andrea's house. Oy. Curvaceous AND slick, that how I like my roads to be. Especially when they are in (AGAIN!) horse country. But at least this time, it is upper crusty horse country, and we were blessed with interior doors.

Sigh.

At least the 120 miles back to LA was uneventful. I never thought I'd be so happy to see my SLA with my snotty cat and the hum of telephone wires buzzing through the nite.