WHATEVER, Ellen!!!

Ellen's reference to them being readily available notwithstanding, MY SnB calendars are going to be FREE - not even $0.99!!! AND delivered to you!

That having been said, I gotta admit - LaurieAnn got me with the JDepp news release. Seriously. SPITTING chewed carrots all over my keyboard. That's a new one. And the "frayed knot" - AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! But, since there were only five entries (double entries don't count even for people with the most gorgeous baby EVAH http://http://accordingtojen.blogspot.com/2006/10/im-baaaack.html), EVERYONE GETS ONE!!! Plus, there will be one left over for someone at WeHo SnB.

I'll email Sachi, Tina and JenL for their snailmail address, and bring Annika and LaurieAnn theirs (hopefully!!!) tomorrow night.

Thanks for playing.

Is January Over Already?!

Welcome to 2007. What took me so long to get here?

Well, the one thing I like about being a . . . hmm. What is a nice way of putting this? A "non-over-acheiver" like me is sometimes it bears rewards.

Back in the ex-mas rush of things, I asked the Jman to keep an eye out at Costco (R) for the Stitch-n-Bitch calendar or pretty much any calendar he could get at a reduced price. Of course, he completely forgot about it until I mentioned an LA SnB-er said she had found the SnB calendar at a Silverlake $0.99 store.

Well, he's been looking out.

And he found some.

And I told him to buy as many as his little allowance would allow, which is all of 7.

So. The first six people to make me pee in my pants from some wiseacre remark in comments will get the extries. If you're a WeHo SnB-er, great. Even if you're not, I'll mail it out to you. 'Cuz that's how I roll.

In the completely conceivable case I don't even get 6 comments, I'll bring the balance to the next WeHo SnB I attend, and let you guys scuffle over them with all the finesse of an attendee at Filene's Basement Annual Bridal Event.

Oh, and BTW, I *HATE* this new Google-based Blogger.

Welcome to the World, Little One

Wyld Blue Owyeung, born 25 January 07, 0116 hours
7.8 lbs, 20". Healthy, happy and amazing.

I have officially hit The Wall

Oh, my gawd. Yesterday went well. The Wee Monkey Gurl was so well-prepared for the procedure that when the tech started to explain what would be happening, she just zoned right on out. :) That's mah gurl!

Tuesday nite, we went to a fashion show at the trade show where my gurlfriend was showing her clothing line. It was very cool to see the booths at the trade show - mamahood has changed much in the few short years since WMG was bornt. But note to self - no matter how thirsty, NEVER drink free wine. Sure, it was poured from a bottle, sure it was kinda really (too) sweet, but I do NOT drink wine in general, and I SHOULD NOT drink wine. Especially when I *know* I'm gonna be doing some real drinking afterward. Oy.

WMG showed up with the Jman at the trade show dressed like the princess she is. She had a really great time, feeling all grown up about being out so late. :) Then the Jman got to take her home to wash her hair while *I* got to hang out with mah gurlz at the Standard. What a dive. But the rooftop bar is nice, and the crowd was so non-trendy out-of-towners, I felt like we were being received as local divas. Good for us.

Five a.m. came around early yesterday.

BUT. The really Great news is that my girlfriend, K2, gave birth this a.m. around 1:45. Mom and Babe are happy, healthy, perfect in every way. How could this have happened? It was only a month ago (or so it seems) that she told me she was preggers. AND I HAVEN'T FINISHED HIS SWEATER YET!!!! Okay, I admit - I put it aside for ex-mas knitting but I could have sworn I had more time!!! AURGH. Guess I know what I'm going to be doing for the next day and a half (I'm going to visit them this weekend).

Once I take a nap.

Warning - Text Heavy Post

So, a few folks have been inquiring about the Wee Monkey gurl and her ex-mas eve-eve adventure. Well, we made it to the neurologist 2 weeks ago (a little over a week after it happened).

With WMG and me just barely over the nasty tummy virii, and Jman just beginning, we were in a swell mood to hang out in an over-crowded pediatric waiting room, complete with screaming babies, snotty tykes and a grotesquely overweight little boy who did NOT want to see the doctor. Can’t say that I’d blame him much.

The Doc turned out to be very thorough, capable, well-mannered and a tad of the wacky - just enough to keep her human. She took quite an extensive (and exhaustive!) history for WMG, and as much as we could give her about WMG’s extended family - which is limited, given the fact that Jman’s in-laws (i.e., my egg and sperm donors) are not exactly forthcoming about even the hint of a possible physical, mental or spiritual imperfection. (They cover up a LOT. Seriously. I only found out my father had a heart attack about 15 years after the fact, and from an unrelated 3rd party.) And the Jman’s family suffers from a plethora of white trash illnesses (I am NOT judging; they simply were born and raised in the midwest, eat only meat, potatoes and some sort of fried lard, and to them, exercise is a foreign concept. Not one is at or below (or even close to) the target weight for their height/age. I love them, but they are not the most healthy folks I know.)

Basically, Doc confirmed what I was thinking either (1) b/c I'm so damned smart, or (b) b/c she's damned smart. She said given the symptoms (and despite the family history), WMG most likely had a seizure. WMG has a propensity for migraines (which she gets from both me and the Jman), and one may have triggered the seizure. Doc's very cautious about starting *anyone* on the medication, for which I'm glad, particularly when we don’t know whether this is an isolated event. I agree; I'd really rather not put WMG on anything she'll have to take for the rest of her life (which is, I think, what you have to do with anti-seizure meds) unless her life depended on it. Since I have experienced a one-time-only seizure (back in the 90’s, before WMG was a glimmer in my eye), Doc thinks it’s very likely the one-time-only may apply to WMG as well. Of course, the other side of the coin is that my seizure was NOT one-time-only, and that I just didn’t realize what had happened b/c I was either drunk or medicated or I just don’t remember. Looking back, I can think of one or two episodes (one was crashing while riding my cousin’s 10-speed, resulting in multiple skull fractures) that may very well have been small seizures. Oh, gawd. Now I’m gonna start inventing drama!!!

Naw, got enough of that on my own. Doc said that we'll know more after WMG gets an EEG, which will happen on Wednesday (so SnB’ers, that *may* mean I won’t make it again to Farmers’ Market. :( . Doc recommended against advising WMG’s teachers because (1) it won't help them react if she ever does have a seizure at school; and (B) she finds that treating a kid differently could have more adverse repercussions. Can't argue with that.

All-in-all, I was pretty (happy? satisfied?) with the visit. The Doc basically confirmed what I thought and is taking a conservative tack. The only thing I didn't like (but can't argue with) is that WMG would probably get a better nite’s sleep if she slept alone in her own bed. Man, that was the hardest thing to own up to. People look at you like you’re some sort of child abuser when they find out you co-sleep with a baby; believe me, it’s even worse when they find out you have an 8 year old. I just don't know what I'll do without my cuddlebumpkin, especially if that means Jman has to sleep with me. Mebbe it won’t be so bad if we ALL sleep in our own beds.

Oh, and the doc said that MEWP's and Jman's heads are abnormally large (in the 90th percentile). Mine, on the other hand, was literally OFF THE CHART. Really. See? Y’all didn’t believe me!

And although there is no empirical evidence to substantiate it, Doc has a working theory (that she’s keeping stats on) that big heads have a tendency for OCD and autistism. Or rather, the children of people with big heads have OCD and/or autistic tendancies. OCD and autism. Hmmm. Knitting, anybody?!

How Sad.

Clicking on this link gave me the biggest thrill I've gotten in a long time. Well, care of the innernetz, that is.

And you thought I was surfing for p*rn!

We're Still Around. . .

Wow. Wow, wow, wowwie wow-wow. What a frickin way to start of the new year. When preparing to support my friend in her loss of female innards, the WMG and I came down with a nasty little buggie. OH MY GOODNESS. It wasn't too bad for me, but poor WMG just was spewing from both ends, usually between midnight and 3am, so that made for some interesting coupola days.

My girlfriend made it through her surgery with flying colors. THANK THE GODS. She is such a trooper. I briefly interrupted my catchin-up-with-ex-mas knitting for a quickie comfort giftie. It wasn't as quick as I had hoped, however, because I was totally flying solo (i.e., no pattern for the wicked). PLUS, I intended to model it after her doggie, who is a gorgeous, solid black Tosa, which is not only rare, but undocumented in Southern California (so we surmise she's here illegally) and she was found in the LA Animal Shelter by my bestest pal, Douggles, who was there to claim Frankie, whom J-man had rescued outside our house when we lived by Roscoe's. Phew. How's that for a digression?! Anyhoo, I decided to use this yarn that I "accidentally" found at a Wally World in San Diego. Of course, I didn't get a black skein at the time because, what the heck would I need black for?! (Joke for all that know me.)

I decided to go check out the Wallys in Torrance because I'd heard great things about it. Great indeed. There was only ONE SKEIN of the black left, but I still managed to spend $203 and fill up not only the trunk of my car, but the back seat and passenger seat as well. Nice. Well, in addition to some much needed (and yet to be utilized) storage bins, I got some lavender-scented beads, which I though I could put in the giftie's belly, since lavender is supposed to be soothing.

I think I overdid it with the beads (it being my first time, I thought they would air out a bit), but of course, 'Dre was completely gracious and said how much she loves lavender petted the giftie the whole time.

(Blurry camera photo.)

When she returned home, she sent me this email:

"Olivia and I fought over what she insisted was Stitch today. My little stuffed puppy. She wanted it. Steven although insisted it looked like Stella [the Tosa]. This is how I won out over the Stella/Stitch battle. Olivia kept saying it was hers. So I told her that her pink cowboy boots were mine. She said that I had my own cowboy boots. I said but not pink. So she gave in.

"By the way, i didn't tell you that the dolly you made is on the "A-List." She has 3 (well 4 if you count the bear she uses as a pillow) toys that she lets sleep with her EVERY night. (Dolly is in that group) then the others need a special inviation when she feels like it. She is such a diva."

Oh how I love that gurl.

More on my own Wee Monkey Gurl when I have a minute...

Holy Crap

I found it. Or at least, I found a crochet version. And it's not for lack of trying, believe me. But, Anonymous, after all this time and effort invested, you're gonna have to at least tell me your name!Pooch/Hooch

Dolly Dolly Dolly - Get Your Adverbs Here!

Exposition - From the beginning of November through the end of December, I had a tough time getting my pictures to send from my camera phone to my computer. A few times it would work, most times it wouldn't. It was driving me NUTZ, I tell ya. Beyond the normal level of nutticism. Therefore, there are a few things that I didn't have the distinct pleasure of sharing with all y'all and getting the requisite kudos and compliments. Cuz y'all know I *thrive* on that kinda thing.

Rising Action - I received a phone bill that was about $50 more than the usual $10. I called the company to question the charges. Seems that every time I tried to send the data (and it failed b/c of lack of connectivity), and when it asked "resend?" and I hit "yes", I was charged TWICE. Some times it would just resend on its own and charge me AGAIN. It was bad enough that I was not getting my pictures, but I was getting charged for not getting my pictures.

Conflict - Not only did the Jman get me a fahncee new camera for ex-mas, but we also got a trade-in on our old, sucky phones. I had about 24 hours to do whatever I could with the old phone before the new ones were activated and I couldn't access them. I had a gazillion pictures that hadn't been able to send in the last two months, but I didn't want to lose them forever!

Falling Action - Not only did the customer service rep cut my phone bill in half (still not right, but close enough for me), he checked on my settings which enabled me to send the pictures.

Denouement (the whole point of this post was give me an opportunity to use that word!!!!) - I got some pichaz fo' yaz.

At last, I present the final rendition of Olivia's Dolly!!!

Monkeys like nekked dollys!!!


A close up of Dolly's hair, which I ingeniously constructed by taking 3 plies of yellow and mixing with 3 plies of off-white to get a color closely approximating the color of Baby O's hair. I then crocheted a bunch of those wormy-type things we all did in junior high. Some I did with fewer plies to give her a nice, kicky hair-do.


A close-up of Dolly's face, which (to me, at least) more than vaguely resembles Baby O's. . .


And as I remarked to anyone who would listen, when you start knitting a SKIRT and BOLERO for a dolly, you've really crossed over into crazy craft lady land.



If you ever see me scrap-booking, just shoot me.

Again, Who Wudda Thunk It?!

In trying to track down the status of the quilt for Grandma Purl, I came across this test. Purely out of curiosity, b/c we all know I am SO not a nerd, I took the test. I was surprised to receive the result.



Must be all that graduate work I did . . .

HAPPA GNU EAR!

So, I thought I was a 15 y/o boy, then I reverted to being a 12 y/o girl. Now, I'm back to being a 15 y/o boy. The Jman saw "Eragon" (the book) at Costco and bought it for me. Despite it being classified as "juvenile" literature, I'VE BEEN SUCKED IN!!! Now I *know* I will never see the movie, because CGI just can never compare with E Magi Nation. Granted, it *is* juvenile literature - obvious, clichéd and predictable, but I still love it. I love dragons; always have, always will. And it doesn't hurt that this particular dragon is one of extreme intelligence and mystery, and she is of the deepest color blue. . .

I hope everyone had a safe and sane New Years' celebration. I know I did - we watched "Shaggy Dog" on On Demand© (gawd, I love that!), then gave kisses and hugs at midnight. I made up little wish bags for us to put under our pillows - dollars for wealth, a vitamin for health (had to borrow WMG's; hmmm... might have to get me some o' my own...), an angel coin for blessings, and some form of good luck charm (horseshoe for the Jman, 4-leaf clover for the WMG and the kanji symbol for luck for me) - so we can have all of that in the new year. MEWP's bag is pink gauze with pink beads, so she was purty happy about that.

In the spirit of NY's resolutions, I got some containers for yarn overrun. Currently they're sitting in the middle of the living room floor, but hopefully one day they will be used for their intended purpose. . .

And in the spirit of a totally MELLOW New Years, I completely forgot about Faith's New Years Day partay. Complete and total brain fart. I remembered it friday nite (warned the Jman that I'd be at a biker/leather party!), and then the brain cloud that descended immediately wiped it from my memory until this morning as I was driving to work. And I'm really, really bummed. Because (1) I love Faith; (b) it's not often that I get to go to a party with a bunch of Harley riders in full regalia; and (iii) I am *SO* excited about Faith's new house and I could not wait to see it! Oy. Way to start the new year off.

Instead, I did 6 loads of laundry and cleaned out the WMG's drawers. Wooo-hoo!!!