Warning - Text Heavy Post

So, a few folks have been inquiring about the Wee Monkey gurl and her ex-mas eve-eve adventure. Well, we made it to the neurologist 2 weeks ago (a little over a week after it happened).

With WMG and me just barely over the nasty tummy virii, and Jman just beginning, we were in a swell mood to hang out in an over-crowded pediatric waiting room, complete with screaming babies, snotty tykes and a grotesquely overweight little boy who did NOT want to see the doctor. Can’t say that I’d blame him much.

The Doc turned out to be very thorough, capable, well-mannered and a tad of the wacky - just enough to keep her human. She took quite an extensive (and exhaustive!) history for WMG, and as much as we could give her about WMG’s extended family - which is limited, given the fact that Jman’s in-laws (i.e., my egg and sperm donors) are not exactly forthcoming about even the hint of a possible physical, mental or spiritual imperfection. (They cover up a LOT. Seriously. I only found out my father had a heart attack about 15 years after the fact, and from an unrelated 3rd party.) And the Jman’s family suffers from a plethora of white trash illnesses (I am NOT judging; they simply were born and raised in the midwest, eat only meat, potatoes and some sort of fried lard, and to them, exercise is a foreign concept. Not one is at or below (or even close to) the target weight for their height/age. I love them, but they are not the most healthy folks I know.)

Basically, Doc confirmed what I was thinking either (1) b/c I'm so damned smart, or (b) b/c she's damned smart. She said given the symptoms (and despite the family history), WMG most likely had a seizure. WMG has a propensity for migraines (which she gets from both me and the Jman), and one may have triggered the seizure. Doc's very cautious about starting *anyone* on the medication, for which I'm glad, particularly when we don’t know whether this is an isolated event. I agree; I'd really rather not put WMG on anything she'll have to take for the rest of her life (which is, I think, what you have to do with anti-seizure meds) unless her life depended on it. Since I have experienced a one-time-only seizure (back in the 90’s, before WMG was a glimmer in my eye), Doc thinks it’s very likely the one-time-only may apply to WMG as well. Of course, the other side of the coin is that my seizure was NOT one-time-only, and that I just didn’t realize what had happened b/c I was either drunk or medicated or I just don’t remember. Looking back, I can think of one or two episodes (one was crashing while riding my cousin’s 10-speed, resulting in multiple skull fractures) that may very well have been small seizures. Oh, gawd. Now I’m gonna start inventing drama!!!

Naw, got enough of that on my own. Doc said that we'll know more after WMG gets an EEG, which will happen on Wednesday (so SnB’ers, that *may* mean I won’t make it again to Farmers’ Market. :( . Doc recommended against advising WMG’s teachers because (1) it won't help them react if she ever does have a seizure at school; and (B) she finds that treating a kid differently could have more adverse repercussions. Can't argue with that.

All-in-all, I was pretty (happy? satisfied?) with the visit. The Doc basically confirmed what I thought and is taking a conservative tack. The only thing I didn't like (but can't argue with) is that WMG would probably get a better nite’s sleep if she slept alone in her own bed. Man, that was the hardest thing to own up to. People look at you like you’re some sort of child abuser when they find out you co-sleep with a baby; believe me, it’s even worse when they find out you have an 8 year old. I just don't know what I'll do without my cuddlebumpkin, especially if that means Jman has to sleep with me. Mebbe it won’t be so bad if we ALL sleep in our own beds.

Oh, and the doc said that MEWP's and Jman's heads are abnormally large (in the 90th percentile). Mine, on the other hand, was literally OFF THE CHART. Really. See? Y’all didn’t believe me!

And although there is no empirical evidence to substantiate it, Doc has a working theory (that she’s keeping stats on) that big heads have a tendency for OCD and autistism. Or rather, the children of people with big heads have OCD and/or autistic tendancies. OCD and autism. Hmmm. Knitting, anybody?!