LOCKDOWN IN CRACK HOUSE ROW

Or, YOU CAINT GIT THAR FROM HEYAR.

If you were trying to take Fairfax last nite, I have to apologize. Apparently, my colleagues at Crack House Row decided to have a party.

For those not familiar with the area, Fairfax is a major thoroughway from the 10 freeway to points north, such as the Farmers Market, Canters Deli, Sunset Strip, etc. And it's a challenge on most days (inexplicably varying between one and two lanes in either direction). It's a great road to take when you're NOT in a hurry, and want to window shop, admire the great Ethiopian restaurants, see what's new at the LACMA, etc. Well, last nite it was impassible. Traffic was blocked north of Pico and south of Pickford, putting us smack dab in the center of the police perimeter.

Like the true loser I am, OF COURSE I had to check it out from the roof of our apartment building.



It was kinda cool, being up there with the airship, seeing all the cruisers sectioning off our neighborhood. [Ed. disclosure: I was once on the list to become an LAPD officer. I passed the written and physical tests, got 105% on the verbal (didn't even know that was possible!!) and was very excited at the prospect, but I think they dissed me b/c I'm, well, nuts. This was right around the time of the Rampart scandal, so I guess I maybe wasn't such a good candidate.]


At least it was purty.


I could see my office building!! HI, OFFICE BUILDING.

It didn't take long for a crowd to form out in the street. I swear, the only time we really talk to our neighbors is when we're on lockdown or have a power outtage. It takes the weirdest things to get us out of our cocoons. No one knew what the trouble was, but we could tell the po-po were focused on one building in particular.


Being complete LOOOOOOZER that I am, I got right up in their bidnez. Taking pictures. Sorry for the (lack of) quality, but y'know, LAPD isn't real thrilled with people taking their pictures while they're working. Go figger. So once it began to get dark, I didn't take pictures so much. That flash is bright, and I'd hate for one of the officers to think it was a muzzle blast. . .

But I did have to document the idiocy of LA drivers. HELLOOOOOO!!!! You are travelling northbound, when a major artery is blocked, you're diverted west, and you take the FIRST NORTHBOUND SIDESTREET YOU CAN FIND?! Especially one that is COVERED with brake lights and lookie-loos (like me)?!?!?! Okay, even if you're one to do that, when you see the people on the street telling the drivers to slow down and turn around b/c the road is BARRICADED, do you still go waaaay too fast on the waaaaay crowded street, while talking on your cellphone? And then, when traffic gets backed up, you honk your horn? If you do, I'm sorry. I can't love you.

[Another Ed. Note: I got my undergrad degree in psychology. This would have made for a lovely paper.]

Although, I had to admit - there was one woman who impressed me. Despite being one of the aforementioned idiots, when she had turned around and was heading back down the street, she made a comment to me and 2 of my neighbors (who are both big, male and unsavory looking), about how she's just trying to get home, and why we shouldn't be getting so much amusement at their expense. With her little girl voice and her doll-like features, I almost felt compelled to respond, but my neighbor (who is a much more patient man than I could ever be), explained to her. He was going to tell her the easiest way to get to where she was going, but she sped off without listening.

After two hours, the canine unit and SWATcifers came out with one kid in cuffs. I think they were still doing a door-to-door, but it was past the wee Monkegurl's bed time, and I'd neglected her enough.

Of course, we still have no idea what the whole thing was about. At a minimum, five T-Rex's died to fuel the heliocopter, and countless man hours were used with the perimeter and the search, but did we even get a mention of it on the news?!

No sir. It's commonplace for Crack House Row, and I was the only one there with a camera.