No one can stop me now, tonight I'm on the loose

My doppleganger got out again. At least, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

She was tired of being held down by the (wo)man, so when she found out about The Party, she tied me up, threw me in the back of my closet, and went out to let off a little steam. Fortunately, she only overpowers me once in a blue moon, but whenever she does, it seems I'm apologizing forever after. Some people think it's kinda cool to have an evil twin, but I don't agree. It's like having curly hair - everybody wants it, unless you have it, then you realize what a pain in the arse it is to care for.

So, to those of you she offended in anyway, whether it be inappropriate observations to unsuspecting innocents, flirting shamelessly with boyeeez half her age, or dancing as if there was a stripper pole nearby, I apologize profusely for any damage she may have done. I'd like to just go on record stating that was a FRIENDLY kiss she gave the bartender (for doing such a stand-up job, I might add), that grabbing The Boyfriend's toushie was accidental, but calling Assholio Make-Out Boy a "poseur" was completely justified.

All I have left to figure out is how she got a 3" rugburn on MY left knee...

which, if you squint really hard, kinda resembles Miss K with her fahncee 'do.