Gin. Knitting. Monkeys. What more could you ask for?!

01 March 2007

I NEEED Help!!!!!

(NOT) short story - the crazy sperm and egg donors are coming to town this weekend. The reason? One of my older brothers, Kev (whom no one has heard from in FIVE AND A HALF YEARS), decided he wanted us to all be a family again. The younger brother, Fireboy, the same one who lived with Jman, WMG and I for over 3 years and had a falling out with The Donors (but we still supported him in all he was doing), then suddenly DISAPPEARED FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH about 2.5 years ago, also wants to meet up.

Firstly, I tried for years to get in touch with the brothers, especially when WMG was small. Kev and his wife avoided contact with me for no reason ever enumerated. It was important to me to have WMG know her family when she was young (especially after Jman's mom died), but they avoided us like the plague. Now, WMG says she doesn't even remember EVER MEETING Kev or his wifey (she was 2 when they last met), and she's pissed at the Fireboy because he never once called, sent a card, emailed, NOTHING for the last 2.5 years. I'm not bitter, but I really just don't care to see them and I hate making a special effort to work it out.

Nextly, they want to meet up at our Crappy Little Apartment. Not only is there not enough room for my family, in addition to the Donors and three LARGE sized, full-grown adult males, but I also don't feel like cleaning up the place for their visit, and the Jman's not going to be around to do it.

To make things even more interesting, WMG and the Jman are going down to San Diego Friday afternoon. One of the nieces (who is on a softball scholarship in Tenn) is playing in a tourney at USD. Jman's other brother (who we see at least 2x a year) is coming out from AZ. And Jman's father (who we see a few times a year) has been recently diagnosed with cancer, so the Jman would really like to spend time with his family. I totally would too, but I hate going to SD for just one day. It just wipes me out.

Finally, Uncle Douggles (my best friend) is taking WMG to see Wicked on Sunday (an ex-mas gift to her), so he's coming up from SD on Saturday to spend the nite at CLA.

Oh, and don't forget - the donors don't like Uncle Douggles b/c he's my ex-boyfriend and ex's shouldn't be friends (they didn't like him when we were together b/c he is Jewish. It pisses The Egg Donor off to no end to know that he and I and our respective families are still friends, particularly after I got married 9 years ago, and EGGSPECIALLY after he got married (last summer).

Anyway, I've been a nearly-veg for most of my life. I have no philosophical objections to eating meat, I just generally don't like it. Since the Egg Donor was recently warned about adult diabetes, she's gone on a major health kick - basically eating all the stuff that I've been eating for YEARS and then LECTURING ME about it. AURGH.

So, in honor of this auspicious fiasco - er, get together, I *get* to pick the restaurant. But I MUST be sure they serve VEGETARIAN foodstuffs. I told her I know about a few great vegan places, but most of them are on the eastside.

She doesn't know what "vegan" is.

So, long story even longer, can anyone recommend a restaurant on the westside that has a considerable vegetarian/vegan menu, but still serves meat, in case The Brothers have a need for dead animal flesh? I'd prefer something outrageous (like a gay fetish bar in WeHo) and expensive (but not too, since I don't want to get dressed up), since I want to make this as annoying the Donors and their progeny as it is for me.

Oh, and I've invited Uncle Douggles to come with us. :) I'm not bitter, I'm just a trouble-stirrer.

PS - I've made a major life change. I don't know if I'll be posting it b/c of its nature, but I'm hoping it "sticks". So send me the Positive Thought Vibes, if you get a chance. THANKS!!


At 6:04 PM, Anonymous Frank said...

K, I'm guessing "Egg Donor" might be what others of us refer to as Mom, right?

No recommendation. But it's good to know mine is not the only F-ed up family! ;o)

And TOTALLY positive thoughts coming your way. (Although I'm DYING to know what it is...)

At 8:43 AM, Blogger Faith said...

You could try Napa Valley Grill. Not exactly a fetish bar but a decent menu and kinda spendy.

At 8:52 AM, Anonymous Annika said...

What about Ethiopian? It's very inexpensive BUT you have to eat with your hands, which is practically guaranteed to freak someone out.

At 12:01 PM, Blogger WineGrrl said...

How about the Newsroom Cafe on Robertson in West Hollywood?

It can be a bit crowded, but the food is pretty good from what I remember. They have some poultry and fish dishes, but the menu (posted at is mostly vegetarian/vegan.

There is also one on Wilshire in Santa Monica, but I can only vouch for the one on Robertson.

Annika has a good point...Ethiopian is inexpensive and tasty....and someone will be the cause of amusement about no utensils. WMG may find it fun, though.

At 1:18 PM, Blogger Laurie Ann said...

I'm going to whole heartedly endorse the Newsroom Cafe. It's right across the street from the Ivy, so you can celebrity spot, plus there is ALWAYS a B-lister at the Newsroom. The food is excellent. They serve meat, but are very healthy and have a large Vegan/ Vegetarian menu. Their soups are always Vegan and are sooooo good. Seriously, you have to order the soup, no matter what it is. Trust me on this one.
The dress code is casual. The waiters are tattooed and HOT. The atmosphere is crowded and kind of loud, but you can easily tune out the donors that way.

At 2:29 PM, Blogger miss kendra said...

take them to RAW.


good vibes for you....

At 10:47 AM, Blogger Uccellina said...

Late to the party, but ::vibing:: nonetheless.

At 5:11 PM, Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

:) Thanks for the suggestions and the vibes. But I've been granted a reprieve. . .


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