Gin. Knitting. Monkeys. What more could you ask for?!

21 August 2006

Good Monday Frickin Morning!

I hate Mondays. Really I do. It doesn't help to find this Monday morning, I'm stuck between a hard-head and a clueless. Both have been friends of mine for a very long time, both have their Point Of View, both of which no doubt have some merit, and both are stubborn as asses (the donkey kind). I'm of the, "aw, f*ckit. Who cares?!" variety, but the Voice Of Reason (as propounded my yours truly) will not be heeded.

So, on to more mundane items.

Mr. Bucket was being especially cute and cuddlesome Saturday. He was so snuggly soft I had to snap a quick pic.

Jaggers got jealous, so I got one of the old broad too.

I got a package from the 'rents (currently in Hawaii). It was . . . interesting. There was a package of gumball vitamins for the Wee Monkey Gurl (because, at 42 years of age, I don't know enough to get my daughter vitamins), and a separate package for me. The first item in my package was this.

By way of explanation, I have never had a conversation with my egg donor that didn't include each of the follow topics - why my butt is so big, why my skin is so bad, how much I desperately need to lose weight. This has always been the case, ever since I was the Wee Monkey's age, if not before. Even when I went through my anorexic phase (99lbs @ 32 years old), there was still something to pick on. So when I saw these, my initial reaction was, SHIT. I really don't need this.

Then I opened the box.
And laughed my arse off. This was my *favorite* candy when I was a kid, and since the 'rents are selling their property in Hawaii, I guess this is my last chance to get it from the source.

Also included was a tank top that I have *NO* idea why they got it for me; probably because it is BLACK, and as everyone knows, I ONLY WEAR BLACK (Hi, Mom? It's been TWENTY YEARS since I graduated from college!!!!)

But it matters not, because said tank was quickly appropriated by WeeMonkeyGurl.

Precise transcript of conversation:

WMG: I don't think that will fit you. It looks too small.
ME: Oh, it does?
WMG: Yeah, but I think it will fit me.

Clearly she's been hanging out with her grandmother too much.


At 12:17 PM, Blogger Sachi said...

I've had the exact same conversations with my mom. Grrrrrrrr

At 3:08 PM, Blogger miss kendra said...

she looks adorable.

i wanted to buy you the tank uccellina and i saw that said "foxy bitch."

At 3:33 PM, Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

Sachi - we're twin daughters of different mothers.

Miss K - because y'all KNOW I'm a foxy beeyatch!

At 4:20 PM, Blogger Ellen Bloom said...

Hey! I'm waaay older than you and my geriatric (84 year old) Mommie Dearest STILL harps me about all those same things!!! HOWEVER, since my Dad passed away about 2 years ago, I've noticed that she only LOOKS disapprovingly at me. She doesn't voice her opinions anymore. I had to wait a verrrrry long time for this somewhat better behavior from her, so don't hold your breath or expect a pat on the back anytime soon. Sorry to be so depressing, but it sounds like all of our Moms read the same books on child-rearing. My only consolation is that now I look disaprovingly at her hair and ask her which mixmaster she combed it with. THEN, I ask her if she owns anything besides warm-up suits and tennis shoes....and, has she run any marathons lately or is she afraid she might break her hip? Oh no, I'm not bitter at all.

At 5:02 PM, Blogger Laurie Ann said...

Ain't moms grand?

At 5:16 PM, Blogger JenL said...

She is so cute! I love how she is hamming it up for the photo.

At 10:44 PM, Blogger Wendy said...

Ohhhh. That candy is my absolute fave candy to this day (if I can find it).

I am still wanting to show up at the farmer's market snb, too...(but it is SO far away from where I live, like an HOUR at least or more, depeding upon traffic...)

At 10:45 PM, Blogger Wendy said...

Ohhhh. That candy is my absolute fave candy to this day (if I can find it).

I am still wanting to show up at the farmer's market snb, too...(but it is SO far away from where I live, like an HOUR at least or more, depending upon traffic...)

At 10:45 PM, Blogger Wendy said...

...funny how you correct a word that wasn't spelled correctly and you add an extra comment. Oh well.

At 1:23 AM, Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

Ellen, I've had the worst day imaginable. Actually, I couldn't have dreamed this one up. And you made me laugh. THANK YOU.

LA - you and me girl, we're like this {{gestures my eyes to your eyes}}

JenL - what she lacks in sweetbabyness, she makes up in DRAMA!

Wendy, we'll welcome you like a queen whenever, if ever, you can make it. And I like the extra comments - it makes me feel pop-poo-lar.

At 8:06 AM, Blogger Annika said...

Lady, you are HOT. Your egg donor is retarded.

At 10:13 AM, Blogger Uccellina said...

My mother has offered to adopt you.

At 2:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=]XPKtCzezEmVqM[/url] , SCBiggHKqsYYu ,


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home