Gin. Knitting. Monkeys. What more could you ask for?!

10 May 2006

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllllllpppp Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!

So, my old cell mate here at the FatCatLawFirm is gone. She decided for all the stress and strife, she should get paid more. So she found a great job at SomeOther FatCatLawFirm and didn't even look back.

Which looks bad for me, because she was about the 5th cellmate I've had in the 7 years I've been here. I swear, it's NOT ME.

Anyway, Ol' CellMate was great - we were like sisters. I could tell her when she annoyed me, or vice versa, and it would be okay. She tried to keep the noise level down because she knew I was sensitive to it. She would help me out in a pinch. She was mostly positive, energetic and FUNNY. Considering we have the tiniest cellblock in the office (seriously; our cellblock is shortened by about 3 feet in depth and about 9 feet in length b/c the copy center was located directly behind the wall and that makes a HUGE difference in working conditions), we got along really well.

Since Ol' CellMate left, there have been some temps (some good, some bad), or sometimes FCLF just expects the work to be subsumed . . . by the Law Firm Gods? I dunno. But today, I got the particular pleasure of being joined by THE TEMP FROM HELL. Seriously. Mah gurl is large. I mean GINORMOUS. YOOOOOOOOGE!!!!! But that isn't the annoying part. She called maintenance and had them unscrew the lights above her - says they're too BRIGHT. DUDE. The office is a standard ghastly grey to begin with. And we don't have a lot of windows. She is fidgety, and every time she adjusts, her chair screams in agony. She has knocked off the the monitor cover THREE TIMES already. She's a banger. Bangs the drawers, bangs the foot rest, bangs anything within reach. She's a constant cell phone talker. Hello, is that business related?! She even TYPES loudly. And to make matters even worse, she's snarfin on the cornnuts. By the FRICKING HANDFUL. So not only does my little corner of the world REEK to high heaven, I'm being bombarded with the CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH that only cornnuts provide. AND, since she obviously doesn't know the purpose of headphones or handsets, she is *repeatedly* listening to a phone message, trying to transcribe it. I feel like I'm being punk'd.

Somebody help me, please.

On a more positive note, anyone catch Idol last nite? My menz, Taylor and Chris, ROCKED. Seriously. I thought they did an amazing job with The King's material. The Jman asked whether he might get lucky if he got a "big scream" t.v. and ran Chris's performance in a continuous loop. I said it was worth a try.

"A little more action" indeed.

And is it just me, or does Michael in the current promo for Lost bear more than a passing resemblance to Judas in the all-time-greatest-movie, Jesus Christ, Superstar (which is even more relevant now than when it first came out.)

Judas, a/k/a the late, phenomenally great Carl Anderson.

Michael, as played by Harold Perrineau.

Hmmm. Maybe its just me.


At 2:13 PM, Blogger Sachi said...

I'll come work for you guys if the pay is OK. I really want to get out of here and I'm pretty freakin' desperate. But I'd only be there 'till August.... And I don't know anything about law but I'm a reeeeeally good secretary.

At 3:12 PM, Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

The pay (or lack thereof) is the reason for the last two secretaries leaving. Unfortunately, I'm too "comfortable" here to make a huge adjustment for an extra $5-7k/annum.

At 4:37 PM, Blogger Uccellina said...

I can't even begin to tell you about all the drama that's gone down here today at Harpy, Infantile and Shrew. And I'm caught sitting in the middle of it all, even though I don't work for them! Gah!

At 3:12 PM, Blogger Laurie Ann said...

You just made me appreciate my big lonely office, helpless boss aside.

I totally see the Michael/ Judas resemblance (it's not just physical).

At 5:18 PM, Blogger ladylinoleum said...

Dude, life at a cube farm sucks...


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