This Is Me
Or this. . .
Or on a really good day, this
But it all ends up the same.
I'm not good enough to be a monkey's mama. I'm a chicken gurl. :(
There is a knitting group with which I've become acquainted - the West Hollywood Stitch n Bitch. I feel I know a couple of them intimately, like (www.golden-state.blogspot.com), or (www.crazyauntpurl.com). But bottom line, I'm a big chicken when it comes to meeting them in person. Last night, I was *THIS CLOSE* to actually attending the group, where they sit around, drink, talk, eat and knit (sounds *perfect* for me, doesn't it?!). But on the drive over from work, I CHICKENED out. Back and forth, I tried (I really did!) to convince myself I should go. Jman said I should really go, and I really wanted to go, but I was scared. Scared I wouldn't fit in. Scared they won't like me, or worse, not even notice I was there. See, I'm not young and pretty and edgey, like Ms. Kendra. I'm not Southern and literate and humorous like Aunt Purl. I'm just a loner who doesn't play well with others.
I blame it on my upbringing (naturally). Being a military brat, I was always the new kid, always leaving people behind, had a preternatural ability to just let people go without even looking back. Served me well back then. It wasn't until college that I made my first *real* friend, and even now, my friends are few and far between. But I feel there is a little socialite buried deep within me, a bouyant blond cheerleader that wants to do coffee and lunch and pilates with people she's just met.
Maybe some day. Hopefully soon, because I'm really tired of being this
When I really want to be this
posted by MonkeyGurrrrrl @ 9:22:00 AM
8 Comments:
you're not weird to be skeered. i was terrified!
but we're so non-threatening, and i will totally be excited to meet you, so who cares? you don't have to stay too long.
you don't have to talk to anyone if you don't want to. and there are all kinds of people there- young, older, edgy, librariany, southern, northern, pink, blue, vegetarian, pastafarian...
they don't mind me, so i'm pretty sure you're a shoe-in!
Lovely Miss K, your situation and mine are so similiar in some aspects its almost frightening. I remembered your entry about Boy encouraging you to go, and that almost got me there as well. But you're one of the people I'm afraid I might vex/annoy. :( And when I'm nervous? Oh, you don't even know senseless blather until you've hung with me.
i'm sure you're fine... but i can always smack you and walk away if you're really bad.
=)
just kidding!
haha?
you hate me now.
Just try it! Really, it isn't as bad as you imagine. I was scared for weeks and weeks and months to go to my local SnB, not being as old or well off or stylish as the others. Finally I bit the bullet and went. I think they maybe thought I was slightly weird, but not in a bad way. They were really nice. You can totally do this.
Miss K, I could never hate you. I know too much about you.
HungryMonkey, thanks for the encouragement. I *will* show up at the meeting, I *will*!! ...mebbe.
Monkey Gurl!!!
You must come to one of our WeHo SnB meetings! We're all realllllly nice and accepting. Crazy Auntie was afraid to come to a meeting too, but when she finally did attend, she felt that she had found her home. I think and hope that Kendra feels that way too. We like EVERYONE, no matter how smart they are (or aren't), no matter whether they talk a lot or not at all, whether they're a good knitter or crocheter. We're very open. Please join us. Of course, we're not meeting on T-giving Thursday, but any Thursday after that, please show up!!!
For what it's worth, there's a lot more to Monkeygurrrrrl than she likes to admit. She's much deeper than even she realizes. And I'm impressed that she worked in a Teen Titans reference. I always liked Raven. Reminds me of my sister.
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